SEXretary: Tales From a Red Light Receptionist Review by Jaynie Ng

Molly Haddon’s one-woman show, Sexretary: Tales from a Red Light Receptionist is a sharp 30 minutes on the inner workings of an erotic massage parlour and her work as the secretary of stimulation. The production is supported by Emily Saint-Smith (Associate Producer) and Michelle Grasso (Production Associate, Sound and Lighting Operator). Unlike any other workplace, these stories of eccentric customer service interactions are safe for work.

Haddon opens the show by comedically escaping from under a mountain of laundry. We quickly learn that this is not just any laundry, but the culmination of discards from the time purchased. One might be reminded of a receptionist, buried under a pile of paperwork – this laundry is Haddon’s paperwork. This central column of laundry spans the vertical height of the room and succeeds in creating an impressive and mentally egregious backdrop for the show. The intimacy of The Office at Erskineville Town Hall also lends well to the private premise of the show. It is particularly immersive when Haddon moves purposefully through the audience, as she deftly identifies the treasures found during a turndown. The lighting design, with perfectly timed audio and visual cues enhance the production’s momentum and execution. However, while generally effective, it has the potential to further augment the overall sensory experience of the show.

Haddon astutely balances the bizarre but almost expected tales with sincere observations and respect for the industry. A highlight is when ‘Ellie’ (Haddon’s pseudonym) ushers us into this world as she would a first-time customer, briskly delivering the rigid rules and procedures with firm authority. The juxtaposition between the characterisation of an awkward first-timer against Ellie’s assertive manner results in a comical interaction, setting the tone for the show. Clever use of prerecorded audio clips in this scene prevents apprehensive audience interactions from stagnating the show, preserving Haddon’s strong starting momentum. The show presents Haddon’s experiences as a deliberately polished theatrical recollection over an intimate confession, a tone that suits its administrative angle. However, without quite enough theatrical escalation, the chaotic and repetitive Friday night flow-state sequence only edges the plot towards its intended peak. Whilst the punchline does land, it just falls short of a truly satisfying climax.

A few nerves surfaced in Haddon’s performance, with a few slips in an otherwise well-polished script and performance. Greater physicality in comedic moments would also have infused more vitality in the somewhat restrained performance. Nevertheless, Haddon handles the demands of a one-person format admirably. Her strong comedic timing and an immediately likable presence initially draws us in. Haddon carries that engagement throughout the show, proudly presenting with the well-honed charisma of a seasoned performer. However, the highly compelling source material, paired with the well-structured narrative leaves a lasting impression.

The show is easy to follow and consistently incites warm laughter, with kind yet honest insights about both the workers and their clientele. I expected a fairly playful show, a few laughs, and to be a little grossed out by outlandish stories, and the production certainly does meet those expectations. But the production also defies expectations, carrying more depth than anticipated. The writing weaves humour alongside artful and industry-specific touches into stock-standard customer service actions of manning phones and taking bookings. Ellie shares the universally relatable desire to be good at her job. In sharing what ‘good’ looks like – preserving the safety of the masseuses – Haddon educates us, offering a refreshing and nuanced perspective on the realities of a highly dangerous profession. It would have been easy to find cheap laughs in misandry – and the show does skim that tone briefly at the start – but Sexretary succeeds by respectfully and humorously framing Haddon’s experience without heavily disparaging the workers or their clients. At a time where the sex industry is increasingly visible online yet still heavily stigmatised, Sexretary proves that comedy does not need to punch down for a punchline.

Sexretary: Tales from a Red Light Receptionist is a lot of fun. Molly Haddon’s narrative is hilarious, rich, and coherent, with a broadly polished performance. The title of the show would not be one I’d try to spell over the phone, but the show itself would be one I’d recommend for an unsurprisingly risible and surprisingly resonant evening.

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Jaynie Ng attended SEXretary: Tales of a Red Light Receptionist at Erskineville Town Hall on Wednesday 9 September.