Sometimes being a professional musician is just a side hustle. Musings from 40 years in an Absurd Profession.
In this show, Simon covers such topics as: • The joy/agony of auditions • Being the white guy in a black band. • How to look dignified – a masterclass in orchestral trombone. • What I play, and how it fits in with the music. • The Art of dance as it applies to playing in a function band. • Coming second, the art of working with your betters. • Woodshedding where there is no shed – or how to find somewhere to practice • Fielding the “what do you actually do for a living” question. without looking insulted. • Trombone – should it be taken seriously? Should the trombonist be taken seriously? • Making it up as you go along – jazz and the trombone. • Farting. Why you should never stand behind the trombone section. • Industrial Deafness. Why you should never sit in front of the trombone section. • Marching Bands. Never taking a backward step. • Military Bands. How to fool your commanding officer into thinking that he’s in charge. • Jam sessions, the great leveller that shows how unequal we really are. • Cultural appropriation. The trombone is a misfit for western culture. Why not invade someone else’s? • The trombone and aging. How to know when you’re past it. • CV’s – how they work for at least half of the first gig. • The advantage of being not too good. • Dealing with discrimination when you’re a white heterosexual male. In a profession run by white heterosexual males.
